(no subject)

My gramma died tonight. Not the one that lives with us, my other gramma. She'd been ill for a very long time, and had been exactly the way she always said she never wanted to be, so really this is best for her. But the problem with death in general, and especially in cases like this, is that no matter how rock-solid sure you were that you'd given up hope for a recovery, now you KNOW it isn't going to happen. So yeah, it hurts, and I'm sad, but I have to remember that she's where she wanted to be, with people that she loves and hasn't seen in years, and she's healthy and pain free, something she also hasn't been in years. And when I remember that I feel better, although I suspect that I will fall apart at the funeral. But she can finally sit, stand, talk, eat, walk, run, everything! Even though she doesn't need to do some of those thigns (per our Christian religion), teh fact is that she CAN. And for that I am glad. She's finally able to be whole again, because I don't doubt that everything but her body was already in Heaven. And now all her parts are together and functioning again. And for that I am glad. I wish she could have been around longer, but only if she would have been well -- at least the way she was 10 years ago (except not the grief over my grampa dying -- her husband). But that could not be, and so this is best. Still sad, but best. And I need to remember that. But sometime, I'm going to need to sit down and let the tears flow, because they will need to for me to heal. I know I can get through this, so please God, help me, because to get through this I will need your help. Thanks.